I didn't realize it had been that long. I'm back! (to quote Jack Nicholson in The Shining). I don't know exactly where that thought just came from.
Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day have all past. I went home for the holiday... Christmas. I saw family and friends. As usual, I came home both happy and saddened. I knew I probably wouldn't see family again for a while. I think of what the older saints used to say in church about never having to say goodbye again, after Jesus raptures the Church out of the earth, and we join him in the clouds as believers in Christ. I sometimes wish for those days. I miss seeing my nieces and nephews grow up. I feel like they might forget me. I don't want to be the long lost auntie that they barely remember. I guess I will have to go home more often.
I want to say that I finished a divorce care class in the last few months. It was very informative. It gave me answers to some of the questions raised in one of my previous entries. I wondered why, after seven years, emotions still arise after a divorce. Some people in my class had long sense been divorced and explained that the ties that children bring can keep the emotions raw at times. Just think about it. If you had children with someone, and you divorce, you will continue to be connected to that person in some way. You'll be at the same graduations, birthdays, and weddings, eventually. If and when you have grandchildren, it will start all over again with them. That can be daunting at first. I mean, don't get me wrong, my ex-husband and I had a civil divorce, but "forever connected" is quite a reality to face when you've tried to move on.
I think those feelings are normal and natural. No one wants to be reminded of a painful divorce, even if it has long sense been over. I really think the class validated my thoughts on the subject. I was not alone in my thinking. I think attending that class gave me some closure. It was time well spent.
I want to say thank you to all who have read my blog and responded to it. I have had positive feedback on it. I must admit that I haven't spent as much time writing as I'd like to. I don't know how authors do it. You really need some uninterrupted time to just focus on it. Life has a way of taking you in different directions. That's been the case in the last few months. I know that I have to just bite the bullet and focus on my writing. I love to read and write. I have been keeping some sort of journal for the last seven years. Sometimes I wonder if my journals could just serve as the raw material for the book.
How have you all been adjusting to divorce? I'd like to hear some of your testimonies, stories, and questions or concerns.
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Wow Thanks for sharing I'm not married but I have a Daughter that is 28 years old. Her father just had a son a year ago.I didn't understand why that kind of bother me.
ReplyDeleteHow does your children feel about fred remarrying and having a new baby?
ReplyDeleteIs this a "What if" type question? He has not remarried, and doesn't have a new baby.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say this blog is really about my thoughts. I try to keep my kids' thoughts and opinions out of it. If I share something about them, it's from my perspective only, just for clarification.
Grace and peace to you Sister, I must confess that I am a huge fan of the ex, but I know as a husband, a divorcee, and as a father, that he could not have achieved his level of success without your part...so be encouraged. I have since remarried since my divorce, and have been married going on 15 years...and it does get easier. Remember, earth holds no pain...that Heaven can't heal. Our Lord is faithful. be blessed, beloved of my Father.
ReplyDeleteHi Sis. Hammond, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your encouraging words. I wish I'd known about a divorce care class. :-) I'm still being restored after a divorce in 2009. It does get easier, but it's because of God's grace in each step. Thankfully, I have wonderful, young adult children who were raised by both parents in the home, but they are still trying to overcome their own obstacles as it relates to their parent's divorce. It's funny how some news about a former spouse can still bother you on the inside, and affect the mood of the children and how they relate to him. I attempted to share with them soon after the divorce that they should be prepared when their father finds someone new, but currently they don't want any part of it, so they don't speak with him often. They don't understand how he's able to begin dating already. A friend of mine said they'll get through it, but they aren't ready to see their father with anyone but their mom. I hope to read more about how you're moving forward. God bless you and your family.
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