We have a Little Over 30 days left 'till 2015

As I sit and type, I realize this year is coming to a close. I'm ready to enter a new year. What lies ahead? What have I learned this year? What regrets do I have, if any?

A few things pop out. The world lost a great leader in Dr. Myles Monroe. We, the body of Christ, know we will see him again. His legacy lives on in his children and his ministry. His books have impacted me greatly. I know many are still in mourning, and they have my sincere prayers.
He lived a very purposeful life and has much to be proud of. I look forward to meeting him again, in heaven.

His death has caused me to think about purpose and destiny, two things he was passionate about. I'm writing now, after months of silence, partially to pick back up some of what I know I should have never lost sight on.

He talked about the graveyard being a place where many dreams lie dormant locked up inside the person who never lived them out in his writings.  He talked about "dying empty", having used every gift God put inside you. 2015 awaits us all to become  empty.

What dream have you let die? What thing that you said you'd do tomorrow has gone undone for years? The approach of 2015 is a good time, to not only think, but do something about them. I speak to you and myself as I write.

The approach of a new year is a good time to reflect on the year that is almost gone. This year was a year of awakening for me. A friendship that I thought would never change, or should I say, I didn't give much thought to change, did just that. I think people should share their vulnerability to help someone else. The loss of that four year friendship/relationship helped me to value relationship more. Sometimes we learn important lessons through loss, (Charles Stanley- Senior Pastor, Atlanta, GA). It was really hard to see a picture of him with someone else.I never thought emotions could be so strong, die down, and then resurface again so many times. I've gone from shock, to denial, to sorrow, to acceptance. I also learned that making a decision, one way or another, is key. If it's not for you, get out. If it is, move ahead. Staying in that valley of decision is not fair to either person.  Life is too short.  It feels good to have gone through the roughest part. I can now hope for his future to be bright, although it doesn't include one with me. Wow! That's a place of growth for me.

For those who ascribe to motivational gifts, (compassion, server, etc. there are five), my motivational gift is compassion. One weakness of that motivational gift is impulsive behavior, and responding to feelings in an imbalanced way. I have to get you more info on the books and authors that lay this out, but go with me for a moment. For this reason, I tend to really have to rely on the Spirit to not take things too personally, or to mourn the loss of something too long. I have to guard against second guessing myself, and the Holy Spirit for that matter. I'm a loyal friend, but if you hurt me, sometimes the wound goes really deep and the time to recover is long. That's why I'm so guarded with matters of the heart.

So, back to this "friendship" that really meant more to me than I realized, being over. I actually didn't realize how much I had invested emotionally until it was over.  I was the "casual" person in it. I didn't want seriousness. I wanted to depend on the closeness without commitment. I learned through Joshua Harris' book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, that intimacy costs you commitment, when it's done right. Intimacy, in that, letting someone into your heart, exposing your dreams, and spending lots of time builds bonds. Be careful who you spend time with and  expose your dreams to. You might find yourself closer than you planned to get.  I talked a good game about marriage, but when it really came down to it, I was afraid of the commitment. Whew!  that was a reality check. I move forward into this coming year without fear. I won't allow the attack to stop me, though it may come.

What did I learn? I learned that taking the time to really value something while you have it is important.  I am continuing to learn that the basis of a good relationship is real friendship and unconditional love. Buy up every opportunity to cease the moments as we approach 2015. Write that book, cultivate that promising relationship, as you are led by God. Smile and walk in the park. Take that vacation this year. Change careers if you need to. Fear is not a reason to hold back. Faith and fear cannot operate together. I like what Joyce Meyers said in a sermon one time. She said "Do it afraid". I think she means that we might be attacked by fear, but how we respond to it is key. Deny those feelings, and respond by faith to whatever you are facing. God is with you, and has a plan. Thank you Lord for that plan unfolding in 2015!